


Mrs. Skylar Colton's-Butt

by dovingbird



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: F/M, Flirting, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 22:09:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dovingbird/pseuds/dovingbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“That man’s rear end could light the world.” Written to celebrate the frivolity of teenaged girls and the boys who tease us for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mrs. Skylar Colton's-Butt

**Author's Note:**

> We can all thank my husband for this fanfic, for when I asked him what I should write about, he seriously and promptly replied "Butts." Love you, sweetie.

"That man's rear end could light the world."  
  
Hollie paused. She slowly turned her head, her lips already pulling into a smile. " _What?_ "  
  
"I'm telling you! It's that glorious, that...luminescent!"  
  
"You've been using your Word-A-Day calendar again, I see."  
  
Skylar stuck her tongue out at Hollie without hesitation. She went right back to applying her eyeshadow on the wave of her roommate's laughter.  
  
"So, uh, just so we're clear," Hollie said with a surreptitious glance toward the open door, "whose butt are we talking about?"  
  
Skylar began to smirk conspiratorially. "I mean, let's just say his voice isn't his only gift from God."  
  
"You're wicked." Hollie plopped down in front of the vanity and tested the heat of her curling iron. "We're talking about Heejun, right?"  
  
"Oh, shut up!" Skylar said through her laughter.  
  
"Well, if it isn't Heejun, who is it?"  
  
"Oh my God, you're impossible." It didn't matter that Skylar picked up a cotton ball and threw it at Hollie, because she just batted it away like a basketball player twice her height. "All right, Miz Blondie," she drawled. "I'll give you two hints, 'cuz I'm so generous: his name starts with a C...and ends with 'Olton.'"  
  
" _So_ generous!" Hollie giggled again as she shook out her first curl. "Where'd this even come from? We've been doing this for months, and you haven't said a word."  
  
"All it takes is one duet and you're hooked for life."  
  
"On his _butt_ , though?"  
  
"Just trust me, Holls." She closed the eyeshadow compact and just stared into space, a goofy smile growing every second. "D'you think it's too soon to send out wedding invitations?"  
  
"Mrs. Skylar Colton's-Butt." Hollie tested it on her tongue like a fine wine. "Has a pretty nice ring to it. But, uh, should I be worried about what your boyfriend's gonna say?"  
  
Skylar sniffed in a haughty way that was basically impossible for her to pull off. "If he really loves me, he'll just have to accept that I'm gonna have two husbands."  
  
"Does he get two wives?"  
  
She considered it. "...yes. But only if I get to pick her."  
  
"It's going to be Miranda Lambert, isn't it?"  
  
"You know me too well."  
  
Hollie snorted with a grin. "Do I get to be the maid of honor?"  
  
"Well, duh! Who else is it gonna be? Nobody else can understand just how much love I feel for this man."  
  
"Or one part of this man's body, as it may be."  
  
"Exactly," Skylar said, pointing right at Hollie. "See? You hit the nail on the head without even trying."  
  
Hollie burst into another sudden fit of giggles. "So...when're you going to propose to him?"  
  
Skylar scoffed. "Seriously, Holls? A woman like me deserves to be proposed _to_ , not the other way around!"  
  
"So you're gonna wait for him forever?" she teased.  
  
Skylar smiled as she dabbed on a touch of lipgloss. "At least until the end of the tour. Then, if his butt is in love with somebody else...I guess I'll have to cut my losses and move on."  
  
"Move on to another butt?"  
  
She considered it. "...I mean, Phil's isn't that bad either."  
  
Hollie grinned. "Good luck fighting Hannah for that one."  
  
"Good point." Skylar gave a dramatic, forlorn sigh. "No, it'll have to be Colton's bum or nobody's. I'll live a life of celibacy. Become a nun."  
  
"A country-western nun?"  
  
"Hey, it can happen!" And then she paused. "...actually, you're right, that'd be kind of sucky." As Hollie began to laugh again, Skylar shook his head. "Better start praying, then, Hollie, because I've got a feeling this is gonna be a loooooong courtship."  
  
Skylar nearly fell out of her chair when an object suddenly landed on the floor right beside her, and she squeaked as she scooted away from it. She stared at it long and hard before she realized what it was: a Ring Pop. And it had come from the bedroom door.  
  
Her cheeks were already flushing when she glanced up and saw Colton's grinning face. He was leaning in through the doorframe, eyes sparkling. "So I, uh, discussed it with my rear end," he began. "And he says he's free Thursday. He'll get the wedding chapel reserved if you get the reception hall booked." He quirked an eyebrow. "That sound good?"  
  
Skylar couldn't even react. She didn't know whether she was embarrassed or relieved.  
  
Colton looked at Hollie and jerked his head in Skylar's direction. "I think I broke her. You might need to find her On switch again."  
  
"For the billionth time," Hollie added with a smile of her own.  
  
Colton's eyes strayed back toward Skylar and lingered there for a long moment before his smile softened a little. "I'll see you at rehearsal, ladies," he said, and then he disappeared. As he walked down the hallway, they heard him whistling "Goin' To The Chapel."  
  
Skylar stared helplessly at the doorway for a long few moments before she remembered the Ring Pop. She picked it up, pulled it out of its plastic wrap, and studied it. And then she slid it on her ring finger with a cheeky glance at Hollie. "Well well, Miss Cavanagh...I think I'm engaged."  
  
When Hollie threw her pillow it smacked Skylar right upside the head, and both girls collapsed in giggles all over again.


End file.
